Sunday 13 June 2010

Things I Have Learned As An Adult

You can get by on charm for about 15 mins. After that you'd better have big boobs or a big willy

You are responsible for what you do, unless you're a celebrity

99% of the time when something doesn't work in the house one of your kids did it.

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic & give in


No matter how much I care, some people are just assholes!


You shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are probably more screwed up than you


Regardless of how hot & steamy your relationship is at first, the passion fades & there'd better be lots of money to replace it


I've abandoned the search for Truth, I'll settle for a good fantasy instead


Stupidity is NOT a crime, so they let me go.


Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home


Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe


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